Let it Go

Now that you’ve said yes and the wedding planning has begun, it’s time to decide what details to include in your big day. There are many common traditions or customs that couples follow, but are they right for you? What worked for your parents, family, or friends may not be suitable for you. It is always important to remember that this is YOUR wedding and marriage, therefore you want to make sure it speaks to your personality and relationship. 

In the process of planning many weddings, I often see traditions that the couples really would like to forfeit but sometimes do them simply because they are customary.  I believe weddings should be personalized and if the customary traditions aren’t right for you, I am here to tell you- it’s okay to just LET THEM GO!  Below are some traditions I believe brides and grooms can let vanish or think of new ways to incorporate differently within your wedding day.  

Forfeit Asking for the Physical Gifts

China, more wine glasses, or a new canister set aren’t the things brides are needing these days, therefore you don’t have to register for these things. While brides are usually showered with gifts during various showers and parties throughout the wedding planning process, a modern take on gifts or contributions at the wedding may include ideas like:

  • Contributions to wedding albums after your wedding is a way that guests can help the couple remember their day.  Ask your photographer if they have gift certificates your guest can purchase.

  •  Donations to a charity of the couple’s choice can turn extravagance into generosity.

  • Honeymoon contributions from guests can assist the couple with enjoying intimate time together on a vacation of a lifetime and one they will cherish forever.  Sites such as www.honeyfund.comare great ways for your guests to contribute.

  • Other sites such as www.zola.comare great ways for guests to give cash gifts to the couple to be used how they see fit.

Look Past the Color White

It’s very traditional for you to automatically think you must wear all white on your wedding day.  Try looking at other colors such as champagne or blush when choosing your dress.  Maybe your shoes are a pop of color or your jewelry has a hint of color associated with it. For the truly bold bride, look at black or pastel dresses.  Adding an unpretentious uniqueness to your ensemble could show off your very own personality.   

Same Gender on Each Side  

When talking with my clients about their wedding party, I always tell them the most important, trustworthy, and respectful people should be standing behind you on your wedding day.  So, just pick those people.  Don’t look at the gender, look at the heart.  

A Bouquet and Garter Toss is a Must

This is one tradition that more and more brides and grooms are opting not to do. Save your reception from the awkwardness of calling your single friends out, who aren’t so eager to go after your bouquet while “Single Ladies” plays in the background. When speaking with my planner friends, Jackie Fogartie with Jackie FogartieWeddings and Eventsand Tina Sheets with A Simple Affair Events, we all agree that this is one tradition we can let vanish.  

Everyone Gets A Seat

Not interested in having a formal, seated dinner? It is not always necessary to be formal especially if that is not your style or personality. Cocktail style receptions are increasing in popularity. Think outside the box when creating your floor plan. To encourage a more relaxed, party atmosphere forgoing seating for everyone helps to push your guests to take time to mingle and dance the night away. 

“If there isn't a purpose or true understanding (value) of a tradition, do not be afraid to create meaningful memories together as a couple.” – Aisha Thomas, Aisha Thomas Events

No matter what you and your fiancé decide to do for your big day, remember it is your day! Do the things that you both are most comfortable with and enjoy every minute of your planning process!

Yours in Planning,

Crystal Govan McCorkle, Principal Event Planner


Special thanks to some of my Charlotte, NC wedding planner friends for their take and on this subject.

Posted on May 29, 2019 .